Beauty

So lately I feel beautiful.  On a regular basis.  For the first time since I had kids.  So I got to thinking why that is.

Is it because of the weight I've lost?  Getting regular exercise?  The fact that it's warm lately and the snow has finally melted and the sun is shining?

The answer is, all of the above, but the weight loss and the exercise and the fact that I actually want to get out in the sun are symptoms of something far bigger.

You see, being skinny doesn't make you beautiful.  Or being tanned, or tall, or having expensive clothes.  How many people do you know whose body you would kill to be in, who are tremendously unhappy?  I can think of a few off the top of my head.

I've noticed when I go to water aerobics that many of the women there wrap a towel around themselves when they're not in the pool.  A great many of those women are smaller and more fit than I am.  I would rather be my size with my body confidence, than skinnier with theirs.

So what is it that makes me feel beautiful lately?  I've come to realise that it's love, and acceptance.  I didn't like my body before, so I decided to change it.  Not just to lose weight, but to develop skills for a healthy lifestyle, and be a better example for my children.  To feel better about myself.  It is an internal change as much as an external one.  As I learned to take better care of myself, I also learned to like myself better.  To accept my flaws, even while trying to improve them.

I learned to love myself.  You take good care of the things you love, and it shows.  I've seen people who are "overweight" who are incredibly beautiful, because they accept themselves, and aren't fixated on what is "wrong" with how they look.

So if you don't feel beautiful, why?  Maybe instead of obsessing about what is wrong with you, you should focus on what is right.  Decide to love yourself, and your outward image will transform to suit.  The next time you feel "ugly", "fat", "stupid", or any of the other ugly words we all use to run ourselves down, try repeating these words to yourself:

I am not loved because I am beautiful.  I am beautiful because I am loved.  And today, I choose to love myself.

Love,
     Nan