Ah, that word. It means so many things to so many different people. For some, it seems like some sort of insidious disease that could creep up and steal your child. For some that becomes a reality. It is used as evidence that vaccinating your child is dangerous. (I personally believe that it is far more dangerous to not vaccinate.) For some it is an integral part of someone that they love, though there are certain parts they would leave out if they could.
Every person with autism is very, very different from every other person with autism. You can't tell someone is autistic just by looking at them. There is nothing about a person's outward appearance that says "that person is autistic". Autism is a spectrum disorder. That means that there are a very wide variety of people that fall under the spectrum. From very high functioning, to those who can barely speak and have little to no basic living skills. From someone who needs constant care and supervision even as an adult, to someone who can live on their own, but is a little strange. (If you want to know what I mean, Sheldon on Big Bang Theory is an almost textbook example of a person with Aspbergers, also known as high functioning autism. Wall-e, from the movie of the same name, seems very autistic as well.)
My four year old son, Noah, has autism. It's difficult to explain to people who don't know him. He is perfectly capable of sitting and playing quietly like any other kid. He will even play next to another kid his age, though rarely with them. He doesn't play pretend. His social skills are abnormal, and he often does not understand even the most basic social niceties. He can have extreme reactions to the smallest thing, and often I can't tell what has set him off. He doesn't speak normally, instead using entire phrases from books or movies, and often he uses those phrases in the wrong situations, or just sits repeating them over and over to himself. (For example, one of his favourite things to say is "I am Syndrome!" from The Incredibles. It's pretty cute when he does it though. I love my little supervillian-in-training!) Often if you ask him a question he will repeat it back to you instead of giving a response. He can be obsessive about things, like Thomas the train. And puzzles.
Not everything about autism is terrible or frustrating. My son has the most adorable quirks. I am not one of those parents who feels like autism stole their child, because Noah's onset of autism was gradual, just after he turned one year old. I've had alot of time to adjust. He is who he is, and the autism is just a part of that. I have to help him to cope in a world that wasn't designed for him, but that's just part of any parent's life. I love him just as he is. (Though there are times that I don't like him very much. Such is love.) We're currently pursuing various things to help catch him up before he starts school. We haven't tried anything radical yet, but he seems to be coping nicely, so no radical stuff in the works, either. He doesn't self-injure. (Thank God!) His main negative response is screaming. And I've found a few ways to interrupt or distract that particular negative behavior. (If you ever see us in church, right behind the choir, I let him run around a bit because if I didn't, he would scream. I figure it's the less distracting behaviour.)
October is autism awareness month in Canada. Every day is autism awareness day in my life. It's strange how the Lord gives you the strength to deal with the challenges you didn't see coming. I didn't ask for this. Autism was never a part of the dreams I held for my little boy. But it's here, and it's a part of who he is, and it's not going anywhere. So I deal with it. And with all the medical tests, and the treatments, and the paperwork, and the stress, and those days when I just want to yank out all my hair and scream, one truth remains. I love my son. All of him, even the parts I don't like.
Love,
-Nan
P.S. I will write on autism periodically, but I think I will write from a personal point of view. I am not qualified to give advice on the topic. But if you know someone who is autistic, or simply different in any way, feel free to comment, and we can swap stories.
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