I am the oldest of four girls and no boys. There is a five year spread between me and the youngest. We've always fought like cats and dogs (and still do occasionally, even though we're all grown up now) but we are very close. We all get along quite well with our parents as well. My mom and dad will have been married for 30 years this coming August.
If we don't like you, we won't talk to you. It's kind of our family's unspoken motto. If we like you, we tease you mercilessly. That's just the way we operate. But if we decide we don't like you, we just won't go out of our way to carry a conversation. Very rarely will we tell anyone off, but should we find it necessary, watch out.
When three or more of us get together, especially around my parents' hundred-year-old-english-oak table, it takes about half an hour before there are tears of laughter running down our faces. There is a great deal of joy that has survived the hard times, and we've had our fair share of those.
We've always believed in God. We went to church every Sunday. Most of us still do. (To be truthful, I only make it about once a month, but I'm working to improve that.) It was, and still is, natural for us to bring God, Christ, and Christian values into any conversation. That doesn't mean that all we do is sit around and talk about God. Far from it in fact. But it does mean that the mention of God or faith is never met with censure among my family members. It is the most delightfully safe place to believe, and express that belief that I have ever encountered. I am truly blessed to have them.
Anytime I need someone to talk to, about anything, I can call any of them. They always have a kind word, or honest advice, or just a shoulder to cry on. Always.
Every woman in the world should have my sisters to shop with. They always give an honest opinion and will absolutely never allow you to leave the store with something that looks bad on you. You kinda have to have a thick skin about it though. Sometimes you will open the change room door, and they will literally point and laugh. And then proceed to try the same thing on themselves.
My family adopts stray people. From taking in some of my cousins for literally years of their lives, to offering friends of myself and my sisters a place to stay while they're getting their lives in order. We offer a warm welcome to those who need a family. Or a second family, in some cases. There is never so many of us that there isn't room for more.
So there's a quick overall view of my family. I love them all very much, and they're mine. But I could share them if you want. As long as they like you, that is...
Love,
-Nan
Friday, January 28, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Anxiety
Anxiety problems run in my family. Both of my parents and all three of my sisters have dealt with this problem in one form or another in their lives.
I, personally, have suffered from anxiety pretty much all my life. I have always slept with the door closed and my back to the wall. Somewhere deep inside I feel like this will make it harder for someone to sneak up on my while I'm sleeping. I have suffered night terrors for at least ten years now. I used to wake myself up by breathing so hard I could hear it in my sleep, or wake others up with my yelling. I wouldn't remember the dream, but I have woken up so afraid that it took me ten minutes to get the courage to get out of bed and turn the light on. And then I would read my Bible until I was brave enough to go back to sleep.
I've been to counselling for the night terrors, and now I sometimes remember the dreams. I have even shouted down a few of them, consciously praying in my sleep at them until I woke up. Seriously. I tell them to begone in the name of Jesus Christ until they go away. And it works. I don't think it's the words that does it. It's the conviction behind the words. I'm not saying it would work for everyone, but it's what I believe, and it works for me.
The dreams don't always end that way. Sometimes I still wake up terrified and afraid to leave my bed. It's those nights that I'm glad my husband sleeps next to me now. He can wrap his arms around me until I feel safe again.
I mentioned in a previous post that my dog Eva, has helped with my anxiety. She really, really has. When my husband works evenings I bring her in the house and I don't feel afraid. I know that if anyone tried to get in, she would bark so much she'd probably wake the neighbors. I used to check my locks at least five times a night. And every time I'd get up to use the washroom at night I would have to re-check the locks, and check on both of the kids to see if they were still breathing. (Which as often as not woke them up.) I was doing this at least once or twice a night.
I check the locks and the kids once before I go to bed now. Just once. I realized that my anxiety was starting to interfere with my life, and did what I could to change it. I'm fortunate that it worked. I don't think I'll ever be able to live without a dog. Eva does so much for my peace of mind that I can't imagine living here without that feeling of security.
I still worry. I'm overly cautious when it comes to my kids. I'm trying to ease up and let them have a little more fun, but it's a work in progress. It always will be. I am trying to be the calm, sane person I know is buried there somewhere deep, deep inside of me. I know I'm less crazy than I used to be. I think I'll try being less crazy tomorrow than I am today, and see where I end up.
Love,
-Nan
I, personally, have suffered from anxiety pretty much all my life. I have always slept with the door closed and my back to the wall. Somewhere deep inside I feel like this will make it harder for someone to sneak up on my while I'm sleeping. I have suffered night terrors for at least ten years now. I used to wake myself up by breathing so hard I could hear it in my sleep, or wake others up with my yelling. I wouldn't remember the dream, but I have woken up so afraid that it took me ten minutes to get the courage to get out of bed and turn the light on. And then I would read my Bible until I was brave enough to go back to sleep.
I've been to counselling for the night terrors, and now I sometimes remember the dreams. I have even shouted down a few of them, consciously praying in my sleep at them until I woke up. Seriously. I tell them to begone in the name of Jesus Christ until they go away. And it works. I don't think it's the words that does it. It's the conviction behind the words. I'm not saying it would work for everyone, but it's what I believe, and it works for me.
The dreams don't always end that way. Sometimes I still wake up terrified and afraid to leave my bed. It's those nights that I'm glad my husband sleeps next to me now. He can wrap his arms around me until I feel safe again.
I mentioned in a previous post that my dog Eva, has helped with my anxiety. She really, really has. When my husband works evenings I bring her in the house and I don't feel afraid. I know that if anyone tried to get in, she would bark so much she'd probably wake the neighbors. I used to check my locks at least five times a night. And every time I'd get up to use the washroom at night I would have to re-check the locks, and check on both of the kids to see if they were still breathing. (Which as often as not woke them up.) I was doing this at least once or twice a night.
I check the locks and the kids once before I go to bed now. Just once. I realized that my anxiety was starting to interfere with my life, and did what I could to change it. I'm fortunate that it worked. I don't think I'll ever be able to live without a dog. Eva does so much for my peace of mind that I can't imagine living here without that feeling of security.
I still worry. I'm overly cautious when it comes to my kids. I'm trying to ease up and let them have a little more fun, but it's a work in progress. It always will be. I am trying to be the calm, sane person I know is buried there somewhere deep, deep inside of me. I know I'm less crazy than I used to be. I think I'll try being less crazy tomorrow than I am today, and see where I end up.
Love,
-Nan
Friday, January 21, 2011
You Find What You're Looking For
So I was thinking while driving to town yesterday, about how optimistic I am about the coming year. I'm not generally known for my optimism, so I was wondering what, exactly was the cause of this change.
I have been fighting for two years to get Noah diagnosed. From denial, to acceptance to battling with doctors who I'm sure thought I was being a hypochondriac mom. I had to arrange to have tests done, then find that they didn't seem to help with getting the diagnosis because a doctor didn't order the tests. And we were on a waiting list to see a pediatrician for over six months before I requested my doctor refer me to a different pediatrician. Then I had to call my family doctor every week for a month to get him to actually make the referral. So it was an uphill battle for a long time.
Then from the time we saw the pediatrician a month later, everything just fell into place. I didn't have to request autism testing. The doctor recommended the testing after speaking with me for fifteen minutes. And then when I got a call from the clinic, they said that the testing I had had done might mean that we could get Noah diagnosed via teleconference. (Which was a huge relief, being as the clinic is five hours drive away one way, and the winter roads have been particularly nasty this year.) So only six weeks after seeing a pediatrician, in mid-December of 2010, Noah was diagnosed from our home town via teleconference. It was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
So this year was looking up right from the get-go. We had the diagnosis so we could apply for government services, and if Noah goes into Kindergarten next year, I don't have to worry about him being labelled a problem child.
Just last month, I started working out. I've tried a couple of times in the last year, but I put my back out very badly the first time, and it's never been the same since. So that kind of ended my attempts to lose weight. This time around, I am easing into it. I only work out every other day at the very most. I am doing water aerobics, so the strain on my body is much less.
I feel better, because I'm making an effort to be more healthy. I found out last night that I've actually lost 4 pounds in less than three weeks! And that's just with working out three times a week, drinking lots of water, and being more conscientious of what I eat and when.
A lot of good and terrible things are going on in the lives of the people I know. So I was thinking to myself, "What makes my outlook good or bad?"
And the answer I got was, "You find what you're looking for."
There will always be good and bad things going on around you. If you look for the bad things, the good things fade into the background. And if you are looking for the good things, even the bad things seem to have a bright side, even if it's "That could have been worse". Because often times it could have been so much worse.
And this year I just can't seem to shake the feeling that something good is lying just around the corner.
And the really funny thing is that a few seconds after that feeling came upon me once again, my car crested the hill and one of my very favourite things came into view; my home town at night from an overlooking hill about five miles distant. The lights stretch out to the sides along a long flat prairie, and I've always felt that that sight at night time meant "home". Those lights I have long held as one of the most beautiful sights in the world.
So I guess you really do find what you're looking for in life. And if I hold on to the feeling that something is amazing just over the next hill, how can I help but find it?
Love,
-Nan
I have been fighting for two years to get Noah diagnosed. From denial, to acceptance to battling with doctors who I'm sure thought I was being a hypochondriac mom. I had to arrange to have tests done, then find that they didn't seem to help with getting the diagnosis because a doctor didn't order the tests. And we were on a waiting list to see a pediatrician for over six months before I requested my doctor refer me to a different pediatrician. Then I had to call my family doctor every week for a month to get him to actually make the referral. So it was an uphill battle for a long time.
Then from the time we saw the pediatrician a month later, everything just fell into place. I didn't have to request autism testing. The doctor recommended the testing after speaking with me for fifteen minutes. And then when I got a call from the clinic, they said that the testing I had had done might mean that we could get Noah diagnosed via teleconference. (Which was a huge relief, being as the clinic is five hours drive away one way, and the winter roads have been particularly nasty this year.) So only six weeks after seeing a pediatrician, in mid-December of 2010, Noah was diagnosed from our home town via teleconference. It was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
So this year was looking up right from the get-go. We had the diagnosis so we could apply for government services, and if Noah goes into Kindergarten next year, I don't have to worry about him being labelled a problem child.
Just last month, I started working out. I've tried a couple of times in the last year, but I put my back out very badly the first time, and it's never been the same since. So that kind of ended my attempts to lose weight. This time around, I am easing into it. I only work out every other day at the very most. I am doing water aerobics, so the strain on my body is much less.
I feel better, because I'm making an effort to be more healthy. I found out last night that I've actually lost 4 pounds in less than three weeks! And that's just with working out three times a week, drinking lots of water, and being more conscientious of what I eat and when.
A lot of good and terrible things are going on in the lives of the people I know. So I was thinking to myself, "What makes my outlook good or bad?"
And the answer I got was, "You find what you're looking for."
There will always be good and bad things going on around you. If you look for the bad things, the good things fade into the background. And if you are looking for the good things, even the bad things seem to have a bright side, even if it's "That could have been worse". Because often times it could have been so much worse.
And this year I just can't seem to shake the feeling that something good is lying just around the corner.
And the really funny thing is that a few seconds after that feeling came upon me once again, my car crested the hill and one of my very favourite things came into view; my home town at night from an overlooking hill about five miles distant. The lights stretch out to the sides along a long flat prairie, and I've always felt that that sight at night time meant "home". Those lights I have long held as one of the most beautiful sights in the world.
So I guess you really do find what you're looking for in life. And if I hold on to the feeling that something is amazing just over the next hill, how can I help but find it?
Love,
-Nan
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Adventures in Dog Ownership
A couple of years ago I was getting so anxious at night that I started seriously considering getting a dog. My family had had dogs my entire life so I was used to having them, but I had never had one of my own. I also thought that it might be an idea to train the dog as an autism support dog for Noah.
So at the end of July I went into the local SPCA to check things out. My sister came along as she was also considering getting a dog eventually. I saw a little black Lab cross puppy. She was the last of an entire litter of puppies that had been brought in. I had wanted a Lab cross, because they are absolutely amazing family dogs. We'd had one purebred and a few crossbreeds, so I know firsthand how awesome they are.
I decided to take her home that same day. So my husband built her a box and I bought all the supplies and she sat in my lap quietly as my sister drove us home.
Sean, who was one at the time, thought she was great. Noah, on the other hand, showed no indication that he even noticed she was there. It was the first glaring proof for us that he was autistic. It took three months before he would even look at her.
The first two days were great, aside from the barking and whining. After that, our little Eva (named so because it was the only female name I knew for sure that Noah could say, from the movie "Wall-e") turned into a nutcase. She would chase the kids and knock them down and chew on their necks. She would hook her paws around the front of their legs and gnaw on the backs of their knees. A few short encounters and Sean was starting to show that he was afraid of her. The last thing I wanted was a dog which was agressive towards my kids, and kids who were afraid of the family dog.
Fortunately for the entire family, my best friend is a dog trainer. So I called her alot for advice and got her signed up for puppy classes right away. If not for those classes, I'm sure I would have returned her to the SPCA in the first six months. I kept Eva and the kids separated unless I could directly supervise their interaction.
In class Eva taught me a few things I desperately needed to learn. When she would get easily distracted and lose focus I would get angry and rammy with her. This only proved to make the situation worse. I learned to back up and reward her for the little things in order to get her (and myself) refocused and calmed down. It was a truly valuable lesson that I apply when dealing with Noah at his bad times. Instead of yelling and getting angry (which, truth be known, I still do sometimes) I will give both Noah and I a time out. I put him in his room alone until he settles down, and we're both the better for it. If not for Eva and her "ADHD" I had to learn to deal with, I honestly think I could have become an abusive parent.
As Eva has grown, so also has she mellowed. She's easier to work with and doesn't bark as much. She will never be calm enough to be a support dog for Noah, but she's been a great support dog for me. She stays outside most of the day, but she sleeps inside at night. I know if anyone was to come in our house, she would bark, and I would know something was wrong. So I don't check the locks over and over again at night. She gets me out of the house, whether going to train, or just for a walk.
I don't walk her as often as I should, but I'm working on improving that. I try to take her to my parents' acreage once a week so she can run, in any case. She's not the calm, low-energy dog I was looking for when I got her, but I made a committment, and I've stuck to it. We're both learning and improving as we go.
Noah will play with her now. He looks at her and smiles and runs away in an effort to get her to chase him. And she does. She's pretty good with personal space now, only running the kids over on the rare occasion. And she "calls off" well. If I tell her "off", even from a ways away, she backs off.
I didn't get the dog that I wanted. But I learned so much from the one that I got. And she's my Eva, and I love her. I will have her for the rest of my life and I will take good care of her the whole time. Cuz she takes care of me.
-Nan
So at the end of July I went into the local SPCA to check things out. My sister came along as she was also considering getting a dog eventually. I saw a little black Lab cross puppy. She was the last of an entire litter of puppies that had been brought in. I had wanted a Lab cross, because they are absolutely amazing family dogs. We'd had one purebred and a few crossbreeds, so I know firsthand how awesome they are.
I decided to take her home that same day. So my husband built her a box and I bought all the supplies and she sat in my lap quietly as my sister drove us home.
Sean, who was one at the time, thought she was great. Noah, on the other hand, showed no indication that he even noticed she was there. It was the first glaring proof for us that he was autistic. It took three months before he would even look at her.
The first two days were great, aside from the barking and whining. After that, our little Eva (named so because it was the only female name I knew for sure that Noah could say, from the movie "Wall-e") turned into a nutcase. She would chase the kids and knock them down and chew on their necks. She would hook her paws around the front of their legs and gnaw on the backs of their knees. A few short encounters and Sean was starting to show that he was afraid of her. The last thing I wanted was a dog which was agressive towards my kids, and kids who were afraid of the family dog.
Fortunately for the entire family, my best friend is a dog trainer. So I called her alot for advice and got her signed up for puppy classes right away. If not for those classes, I'm sure I would have returned her to the SPCA in the first six months. I kept Eva and the kids separated unless I could directly supervise their interaction.
In class Eva taught me a few things I desperately needed to learn. When she would get easily distracted and lose focus I would get angry and rammy with her. This only proved to make the situation worse. I learned to back up and reward her for the little things in order to get her (and myself) refocused and calmed down. It was a truly valuable lesson that I apply when dealing with Noah at his bad times. Instead of yelling and getting angry (which, truth be known, I still do sometimes) I will give both Noah and I a time out. I put him in his room alone until he settles down, and we're both the better for it. If not for Eva and her "ADHD" I had to learn to deal with, I honestly think I could have become an abusive parent.
As Eva has grown, so also has she mellowed. She's easier to work with and doesn't bark as much. She will never be calm enough to be a support dog for Noah, but she's been a great support dog for me. She stays outside most of the day, but she sleeps inside at night. I know if anyone was to come in our house, she would bark, and I would know something was wrong. So I don't check the locks over and over again at night. She gets me out of the house, whether going to train, or just for a walk.
I don't walk her as often as I should, but I'm working on improving that. I try to take her to my parents' acreage once a week so she can run, in any case. She's not the calm, low-energy dog I was looking for when I got her, but I made a committment, and I've stuck to it. We're both learning and improving as we go.
Noah will play with her now. He looks at her and smiles and runs away in an effort to get her to chase him. And she does. She's pretty good with personal space now, only running the kids over on the rare occasion. And she "calls off" well. If I tell her "off", even from a ways away, she backs off.
I didn't get the dog that I wanted. But I learned so much from the one that I got. And she's my Eva, and I love her. I will have her for the rest of my life and I will take good care of her the whole time. Cuz she takes care of me.
-Nan
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Love Letter
This one's for you, Derek.
Our relationship hasn't been the easiest, or really very romantic. Neither of us are particularly good at grand gestures. I know you're incredible with the little ones though. And those are the ones that count.
We were pregnant 8 months into our relationship. That's less than a year after the first time we met. I remember telling you, and your response was, "Yay!". And you meant it. You were the first to change Noah's diaper. (I believe you changed the second and third as well...) You used to place his tiny body, clad only in a diaper, on your bare chest, and snuggle with him under a blanket. You are one of, if not the, best father I have ever known.
You give the very best hugs in the world. I can't even describe them. When you hold me like that, you make the best things in the world even better, and the worst experiences a little more bearable.
You are one of the most supportive people in the world. You encourage me to get out of the house more often for my own sanity's sake. You put up with my crap. You let me be bossy, even out in public. I rarely hear you complain that the house isn't clean enough. (Which it never is, truth be known.) Or that I haven't cooked dinner. (Again.) You understand my obsessive personality and put up with my endless talking about this or that movie or actor or video game that is my most recent obsession.
You get my sense of humour. I love that I can be watching a movie with you and I can just look at you and grin and not need to speak. I can tell by the look on your face that you're thinking the same thing that I am. I love those little moments. And that I can spout random quotes out of the blue and you get the humour, and don't think I'm odd. 'Cause you're odd too.
And I love that you let me know when I've crossed the line and when I get too pushy. You let me feel like I'm in control without letting me turn into a tyrant. I really need both of those things; to feel in control, and to not become a tyrant.
Honey, you let me be me while encouraging me to be better.
You think I'm beautiful even though I'm 35 pounds heavier than when we met. You think I'm sexy even when I don't feel sexy. (Though sometimes that does get obnoxious.) You are honest with me, and (most of the time) tactful enough about it not to be hurtful.
When we discovered that Noah very likely was autistic, you didn't blink. You love our children for who they are, not who you want them to be. It is a rare and incredible trait.
I love you so much, Derek. I am blessed to be married to my best friend. I know I am difficult to live with, but I am trying to be better. And maybe through the years we can be better together: better parents. Better spouses. Better friends.
It's only been a few years, but here's to many, many more.
I love you with all my heart,
Nan
Our relationship hasn't been the easiest, or really very romantic. Neither of us are particularly good at grand gestures. I know you're incredible with the little ones though. And those are the ones that count.
We were pregnant 8 months into our relationship. That's less than a year after the first time we met. I remember telling you, and your response was, "Yay!". And you meant it. You were the first to change Noah's diaper. (I believe you changed the second and third as well...) You used to place his tiny body, clad only in a diaper, on your bare chest, and snuggle with him under a blanket. You are one of, if not the, best father I have ever known.
You give the very best hugs in the world. I can't even describe them. When you hold me like that, you make the best things in the world even better, and the worst experiences a little more bearable.
You are one of the most supportive people in the world. You encourage me to get out of the house more often for my own sanity's sake. You put up with my crap. You let me be bossy, even out in public. I rarely hear you complain that the house isn't clean enough. (Which it never is, truth be known.) Or that I haven't cooked dinner. (Again.) You understand my obsessive personality and put up with my endless talking about this or that movie or actor or video game that is my most recent obsession.
You get my sense of humour. I love that I can be watching a movie with you and I can just look at you and grin and not need to speak. I can tell by the look on your face that you're thinking the same thing that I am. I love those little moments. And that I can spout random quotes out of the blue and you get the humour, and don't think I'm odd. 'Cause you're odd too.
And I love that you let me know when I've crossed the line and when I get too pushy. You let me feel like I'm in control without letting me turn into a tyrant. I really need both of those things; to feel in control, and to not become a tyrant.
Honey, you let me be me while encouraging me to be better.
You think I'm beautiful even though I'm 35 pounds heavier than when we met. You think I'm sexy even when I don't feel sexy. (Though sometimes that does get obnoxious.) You are honest with me, and (most of the time) tactful enough about it not to be hurtful.
When we discovered that Noah very likely was autistic, you didn't blink. You love our children for who they are, not who you want them to be. It is a rare and incredible trait.
I love you so much, Derek. I am blessed to be married to my best friend. I know I am difficult to live with, but I am trying to be better. And maybe through the years we can be better together: better parents. Better spouses. Better friends.
It's only been a few years, but here's to many, many more.
I love you with all my heart,
Nan
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Frustrated
I was somewhat afraid to write anything today. I found out this morning that my son's preschool will be closing at the end of the month. This means that all the great progress we have made this year might as well go straight out the window. Being autistic, Noah has difficulty adjusting to new situations. It took him four months to get used to the class he is in now, and it is in the same place and with the same teacher's aide he has last year. So even if he gets a new placement, I doubt he will make any further progress through school.
So the bombshell that his school is closing I recieved this morning with no advanced warning has thrown me into extreme emotional turmoil. I was afraid to write, at the risk that the post would turn into an angry tirade, and I do not really want those kinds of feelings out there for anyone to see. It wouldn't reflect well on me.
My immediate reaction to unexpected events is to assume the worst and worry myself into a tizzy. I have given myself time to think, and now believe that the situation is not necessarily as dire as I thought. There is still time and multiple ways to save the program. We'll see what we can do tomorrow.
I also assumed that I would have to do this on my own. I was sorely mistaken in that regard. Happily so! My husband has called in anyone who might know anything, and he's booked tomorrow morning off so he can talk to the people directly involved. I am so glad to hand the reins of this problem over to someone else. I am usually the one who handles the stuff to do with Noah's treatment, because Derek works full time, and I stay at home to raise the kids. It's nice that he chose to get involved just at the time when I need him most. By God, but I love that man.
So I've had time to get the tears and the anger out, and I'm thinking rationally, so it's time to leave the entire problem in the capable hands of my Lord. He's always been in control anyway.
Hope you're having a better day than I am.
With Love,
-Nan
So the bombshell that his school is closing I recieved this morning with no advanced warning has thrown me into extreme emotional turmoil. I was afraid to write, at the risk that the post would turn into an angry tirade, and I do not really want those kinds of feelings out there for anyone to see. It wouldn't reflect well on me.
My immediate reaction to unexpected events is to assume the worst and worry myself into a tizzy. I have given myself time to think, and now believe that the situation is not necessarily as dire as I thought. There is still time and multiple ways to save the program. We'll see what we can do tomorrow.
I also assumed that I would have to do this on my own. I was sorely mistaken in that regard. Happily so! My husband has called in anyone who might know anything, and he's booked tomorrow morning off so he can talk to the people directly involved. I am so glad to hand the reins of this problem over to someone else. I am usually the one who handles the stuff to do with Noah's treatment, because Derek works full time, and I stay at home to raise the kids. It's nice that he chose to get involved just at the time when I need him most. By God, but I love that man.
So I've had time to get the tears and the anger out, and I'm thinking rationally, so it's time to leave the entire problem in the capable hands of my Lord. He's always been in control anyway.
Hope you're having a better day than I am.
With Love,
-Nan
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
First Post
Now that I finally picked a name, I have no idea what to write.
I find it obnoxious to read a person's blog and have them not properly introduce themselves in the first post, so here goes:
I am 29 years old, a married mother of two boys, ages 4 and 2 1/2. The oldest was diagnosed with Autism almost a month ago. I have lived in Canada my whole life. I was raised Catholic, and consider myself Catholic, though some of my beliefs differ from most other Catholics.
I plan on writing whatever comes to mind, so I will doubtlessly write about all of the above things and more. I will very likely get up on a soapbox from time to time, though hopefully not so often as to get boring. I write my thoughts, so please don't take my own life situation and how I choose to handle it as advice. I imagine I will write about Autism often, because my life often is dictated by my son's condition. I am by no means an expert on the subject, and may try some unorthodox things to help him cope.
I love my husband and my sons very much, and I am very close to my family. I love to read, play video games, and watch my Toronto Maple Leafs play hockey. (And by "play hockey", I mean mostly lose. <sigh>) I am overweight and have recently started excercising in the hopes of getting back to a healthy weight and feeling more energised and better about myself. We'll see how that goes.
I called the blog "Finding My Voice" because of a number of things. I used to be painfully shy. It took until I was 18 years old for me to hold a comfortable conversation with a stranger. I can be very outspoken now, but I still feel very awkward in new situations, and am very unsure of myself socially. Last year I was asked to write and give a talk at a religious retreat, and rediscovered my love of writing. So that's why I started a blog. I feel that I need to write. I have something to say. Not necessarily something that desperately needs to be heard, mind you.
I chose nanspeaks as the address for my blog because Nan is a nickname those very close to me use, and I've felt for a number of years that "Nan" is the name of my true self. So this is Nan writing this blog. My true self is finding her voice. I am interested to see what I may have to say.
So for now at least, this is my online diary, to help get my thoughts out, and see where my writing takes me. Thank you for taking the time to read my random blathering. We'll see if I can get more entertaining as I go.
With Love,
-Nan
I find it obnoxious to read a person's blog and have them not properly introduce themselves in the first post, so here goes:
I am 29 years old, a married mother of two boys, ages 4 and 2 1/2. The oldest was diagnosed with Autism almost a month ago. I have lived in Canada my whole life. I was raised Catholic, and consider myself Catholic, though some of my beliefs differ from most other Catholics.
I plan on writing whatever comes to mind, so I will doubtlessly write about all of the above things and more. I will very likely get up on a soapbox from time to time, though hopefully not so often as to get boring. I write my thoughts, so please don't take my own life situation and how I choose to handle it as advice. I imagine I will write about Autism often, because my life often is dictated by my son's condition. I am by no means an expert on the subject, and may try some unorthodox things to help him cope.
I love my husband and my sons very much, and I am very close to my family. I love to read, play video games, and watch my Toronto Maple Leafs play hockey. (And by "play hockey", I mean mostly lose. <sigh>) I am overweight and have recently started excercising in the hopes of getting back to a healthy weight and feeling more energised and better about myself. We'll see how that goes.
I called the blog "Finding My Voice" because of a number of things. I used to be painfully shy. It took until I was 18 years old for me to hold a comfortable conversation with a stranger. I can be very outspoken now, but I still feel very awkward in new situations, and am very unsure of myself socially. Last year I was asked to write and give a talk at a religious retreat, and rediscovered my love of writing. So that's why I started a blog. I feel that I need to write. I have something to say. Not necessarily something that desperately needs to be heard, mind you.
I chose nanspeaks as the address for my blog because Nan is a nickname those very close to me use, and I've felt for a number of years that "Nan" is the name of my true self. So this is Nan writing this blog. My true self is finding her voice. I am interested to see what I may have to say.
So for now at least, this is my online diary, to help get my thoughts out, and see where my writing takes me. Thank you for taking the time to read my random blathering. We'll see if I can get more entertaining as I go.
With Love,
-Nan
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